How to Tell Someone You Love Them: 7 Tips
If you’re thinking about taking your relationship to a new level with those three little words, it can be both exciting and nerve-racking! But fear not — if you need tips for how to tell someone you love them, we’ve got some! Here are seven tips for saying “I love you” for the first time:
1. Make Sure You’re Ready
Take some time to think about how you truly feel. The reason? There’s a big difference between love and infatuation. If you haven’t been dating very long or are still in the magical honeymoon phase of your relationship, it’s easy to confuse feelings of love with feelings of obsession.
2. Time It Right
Feelings of love are not formed immediately. You have to allow enough time to get to know each other on a deep, intimate level. That’s not likely to happen within the first few weeks! That said, it’s also important not to wait too long.
While there is no set time frame to say “I love you,” research has shown that, on average, men take about three months to say it, while women take about five months.
3. Don’t Say it When You’re Drinking
As much as we understand the desire to try some liquid courage, it’s best to avoid alcohol (or any other substance) before telling someone you love them.
It may be easier to admit feelings after a few drinks, but you don’t want your partner to think you only said it because you were drunk — they will end up doubting your sincerity.
4. Don’t Do It Over Text
Telling someone you love them for the first time via text probably won’t get you the best reaction. Those three little words are a total game-changer for your relationship, so treat them delicately — and in person.
5. Choose a Private Spot
Choose a private spot to tell someone you love them. Maybe you lay out a blanket under the stars or curl up on the couch with a glass of wine. Whatever you decide, make sure the mood is relaxed and intimate. It will create the perfect atmosphere and help you both feel comfortable opening up and saying what you need to say.
6. Don’t Say It During Sex
Letting an “I love you” slip during the passion of sex is not necessarily a bad thing, but if it’s for the first time, it might send the wrong message.
Much like saying it when you’re drunk, an “I love you” during sex might not come across as sincere. If it happens, you should talk to your partner afterward to let them know that your feelings are genuine (and it wasn’t just the great sex talking).
7. Be as Direct as Possible
It can be a little scary to tell someone you love them for the first time, so you might feel the urge to beat around the bush in order to gauge a reaction. Try not to!
If you don’t want to come right out and say “I love you,” you can say something like, “My feelings are getting much deeper, and I’m starting to fall in love with you.” It’s a great way to approach the subject and start a conversation about how each of you feels.
What If They Don’t Say It Back?
Sometimes, love isn’t reciprocated. Maybe your partner just needs more time to process how they feel, or perhaps you are on two different pages. In the worst-case scenario, you’ve found yourself in the middle of unrequited love.
If one of the first two scenarios occurs, you can always have your partner explain their feelings and where they see the relationship going. You should also be proud of yourself for having the courage to say how you feel!
On the other hand, if you’re met with unrequited love, it’s helpful to ask yourself if there may have been any signs or red flags you overlooked. It’s not easy, but you can learn a lot from it to help you in future relationships.
So, are you ready to tell someone you love them? Remember to keep your cool, be as direct as possible, and, of course, be honest!